Make raising kids an enjoyable job. Effective parenting does not mean you have to have all the answers. Focus on spending quality time with your kids -enjoy outdoors, participate in make-believe play with them. Rather than trying to address everything all at once, recognize your strengths and work on improving your weaknesses.
Set realistic expectations of yourself as a human being. Admit it when you’re burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy as a person (or as a couple)
A parent needs to make concerted efforts towards improving a child’s emotional health to grow up into emotionally intelligent kids who are also responsible adults.
You don’t necessarily model yourself as selfish by focussing on your needs. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.